FARTS- A HOT TOPIC

Today, when my friend, Meena, and I were driving home from school (Lacombe to Edmonton), we were in such a silly mood - you know, the "We're so tired, we will laugh about anything" mood- (actually, Meena, when aren't we?!). Anyway, we started talking about school- which led to boys-which led to parties and drinking (and Dan putting a hole in the wall one time when he fainted at a house party almost 3 years ago)- which led clubbing - which led us to talk about Oprah -which finally led us onto the topic of farts (can't you all see the logical ordering of these topics- or is this only something Meena and I can see as "rational"?) .

Well okay, maybe only the last part is logical ordering, since a recent Oprah episode revealed that it is HEALTHY to fart 14 times a day (and as Dan would say to me, "NOT 14 times an hour, Roz!"). I'm a bit of a fart machine sometimes (that's right boys, I'll take you on anytime!). Ok, I know, that wasn't very girly to admit. Whatever.

Meena and I had a good conversation about times when we would pass gas and try to be discrete about it, and the techniques/positioning of our bodies so that we can pass gas without anyone hearing it (but not necessarily smelling it!) Or times when it's easier to fart without anyone hearing it (i.e., when it's in a noisy environment).

I told her that sometimes I get annoyed at those pushy people on the dance floor of a nightclub, or those couples that are really going hard bumpin' and grindin' to a song that doesn't even involve any sort of justification to practically look like you're having sex on the dance floor. Consequently, I would stand by these people and (discretely) fart on them. Meena blurted out (while trying to gasp for air from laughing so hard), "I didn't think that you could USE your farts as a weapon!!!!!!" In which I replied, "Oh hell ya! I do it to Dan all the time!" (That is, I threaten to fart if Dan tries to poke my belly button, or bug me in anyway).

Meena and I then continued on about farts for another good ten minutes, and at some point, we were laughing so hard that it effected my driving abilities, as the car started to swerve a bit from side to side (nothing crazy though!) Meena and I could probably write a book about farts and all the funny types, stories, techniques, strategies on farting in public, including the best times to use them. Hmmm. I just opened a whole new side to you guys (well, ok, not really since many of you already know that I am not afraid to admit I fart...alot. Must be all those protein powder).

Ok, so people, I want to hear your best funny fart stories/strategies in my comments!!! READY...SET...FART-Oops, I mean POST!

MAY 15

Jenn's Bridal Shower Party held at her aunt Barb's lovely house, in the backyard.

A couple of the cute ladies at Jenn's Bridal Shower.

We all got to sign an apron that was especially for Jenn...and of course I had to give Jenn some cooking tips for the future - these are a couple things that she had done in the past!!! (i.e., Jenn fed us expired salsa at a party one time...that caused some bad gas; another time, Jenn had us over for dinner and took credit for making lasagna that her mom really made!)

Sarah (Maid of Honor) and I (one of the Brides maids) helped Jenn out with the gift opening. Jenn's mom is sitting beside me.

This was one of the many (gag) gifts we got Jenn - a "manly" water bottle for when she has preggo cramps! HAHA, we loved embarassing Jenn! Apparently, I think I'm trying to explain how the water bottle works....

We got this boardgame for her and Steve called "Wildly Sexy Dares". Basically, it's an ongoing game that can be played outside the bedroom. There are dares written on cards, and you get points for doing certain dares (and bonus points if you do the harder versions of the dare). For example, one card says:
DARE: Wear a very sexy low cut shirt that shows off your cleavage to a fancy restaurant(15 pts)
DOUBLE DARE: Get the waiter to notice the cleavage (20 pts)
TRIPLE DARE: If the waiter stammers (25 pts)

When we were buying this gift for Jenn at The Love Boutique (adult store), we asked the sales clerk what a good boardgame would be for a really competitive couple. She recommended this one - and I think it will suit them just fine! Jenn's got the cleavage! ;o)

Of course we also can't forget about the sex play dice! (they say naughty action words on each side)

Awww, it's Little Miss "Jenn" homemaker (somehow that doesn't sound as good as "Suzy")

Susan, Sarah, Roz, Jenn, Christy, Suzy, Nicole & Michelle

May 14

We threw Jenn a stagette Saturday night after Michelle's sister's grad party.

AND OMG, I FORGOT TO MENTION - JENN IS PREGNANT!
So after joking about getting married so soon because I thought she was pregnant, Jenn confessed two weeks ago that she actually had been pregnant since the end of January! CONGRATS JENN AND STEVE! We call the unborn baby "Boobie" - as Jenn had one time slipped up and accidentally referred to her baby as "Boobie" instead of baby.

For her stagette, we went to Whitemud Amusement Park to play a round of 18 hole mini-golf (for some reason, it seemed like a really long game-- but we think it was b/c the damn mosquitos had something to do with that! Yes...they are out already!

Next, we had a wine and cheese party (well sparkling apple juice for Jenn!) back at Michelle's apartment. Good times!

May 14

Roz, Robyn, Michelle, & Terri: I'm the "fourth" sister!

I was Michelle's date (since Byron is gone for military training) for her youngest sister, Robyn's graduation ceremony at the Shaw Conference Centre. There were just over 300 students at Holy Trinity High School graduating! Yikes! I remember when I graduated high school, we only had about 100 people! Also, our grad definitely was not as nicely decorated as Robyn's was! The best part was the awesome food! YUM!

Michelle and I actually got mistaken as gr. 12ers! DO I LOOK THAT YOUNG!? Actually, all those gr. 12 girls all dressed up do look older....

Congrats Robyn on your high school Graduation!

Click HERE FOR MORE PHOTOS!

May 5

Dan ran his first FULL marathon in Vancouver. He did quite well. He was hoping to finish in four hours, but his training really paid off and he did better than he thought he would!

Here are his stats:
858/4257 runners who completed the marathon
685/2361 Males
85/241 Males aged 25 to 29
Total time: 3:44:23
average miles/hour: 8:34
time at half way point: 1:47:04

If you're interested, here are some pictures of Dan running during his marathon - click here.

In addition, Dan and Olindo hung out for a few days in Vancouver and Seattle. Check out the photos!