FARTS- A HOT TOPIC
Today, when my friend, Meena, and I were driving home from school (Lacombe to Edmonton), we were in such a silly mood - you know, the "We're so tired, we will laugh about anything" mood- (actually, Meena, when aren't we?!). Anyway, we started talking about school- which led to boys-which led to parties and drinking (and Dan putting a hole in the wall one time when he fainted at a house party almost 3 years ago)- which led clubbing - which led us to talk about Oprah -which finally led us onto the topic of farts (can't you all see the logical ordering of these topics- or is this only something Meena and I can see as "rational"?) .
Well okay, maybe only the last part is logical ordering, since a recent Oprah episode revealed that it is HEALTHY to fart 14 times a day (and as Dan would say to me, "NOT 14 times an hour, Roz!"). I'm a bit of a fart machine sometimes (that's right boys, I'll take you on anytime!). Ok, I know, that wasn't very girly to admit. Whatever.
Meena and I had a good conversation about times when we would pass gas and try to be discrete about it, and the techniques/positioning of our bodies so that we can pass gas without anyone hearing it (but not necessarily smelling it!) Or times when it's easier to fart without anyone hearing it (i.e., when it's in a noisy environment).
I told her that sometimes I get annoyed at those pushy people on the dance floor of a nightclub, or those couples that are really going hard bumpin' and grindin' to a song that doesn't even involve any sort of justification to practically look like you're having sex on the dance floor. Consequently, I would stand by these people and (discretely) fart on them. Meena blurted out (while trying to gasp for air from laughing so hard), "I didn't think that you could USE your farts as a weapon!!!!!!" In which I replied, "Oh hell ya! I do it to Dan all the time!" (That is, I threaten to fart if Dan tries to poke my belly button, or bug me in anyway).
Meena and I then continued on about farts for another good ten minutes, and at some point, we were laughing so hard that it effected my driving abilities, as the car started to swerve a bit from side to side (nothing crazy though!) Meena and I could probably write a book about farts and all the funny types, stories, techniques, strategies on farting in public, including the best times to use them. Hmmm. I just opened a whole new side to you guys (well, ok, not really since many of you already know that I am not afraid to admit I fart...alot. Must be all those protein powder).
Ok, so people, I want to hear your best funny fart stories/strategies in my comments!!! READY...SET...FART-Oops, I mean POST!
Today, when my friend, Meena, and I were driving home from school (Lacombe to Edmonton), we were in such a silly mood - you know, the "We're so tired, we will laugh about anything" mood- (actually, Meena, when aren't we?!). Anyway, we started talking about school- which led to boys-which led to parties and drinking (and Dan putting a hole in the wall one time when he fainted at a house party almost 3 years ago)- which led clubbing - which led us to talk about Oprah -which finally led us onto the topic of farts (can't you all see the logical ordering of these topics- or is this only something Meena and I can see as "rational"?) .
Well okay, maybe only the last part is logical ordering, since a recent Oprah episode revealed that it is HEALTHY to fart 14 times a day (and as Dan would say to me, "NOT 14 times an hour, Roz!"). I'm a bit of a fart machine sometimes (that's right boys, I'll take you on anytime!). Ok, I know, that wasn't very girly to admit. Whatever.
Meena and I had a good conversation about times when we would pass gas and try to be discrete about it, and the techniques/positioning of our bodies so that we can pass gas without anyone hearing it (but not necessarily smelling it!) Or times when it's easier to fart without anyone hearing it (i.e., when it's in a noisy environment).
I told her that sometimes I get annoyed at those pushy people on the dance floor of a nightclub, or those couples that are really going hard bumpin' and grindin' to a song that doesn't even involve any sort of justification to practically look like you're having sex on the dance floor. Consequently, I would stand by these people and (discretely) fart on them. Meena blurted out (while trying to gasp for air from laughing so hard), "I didn't think that you could USE your farts as a weapon!!!!!!" In which I replied, "Oh hell ya! I do it to Dan all the time!" (That is, I threaten to fart if Dan tries to poke my belly button, or bug me in anyway).
Meena and I then continued on about farts for another good ten minutes, and at some point, we were laughing so hard that it effected my driving abilities, as the car started to swerve a bit from side to side (nothing crazy though!) Meena and I could probably write a book about farts and all the funny types, stories, techniques, strategies on farting in public, including the best times to use them. Hmmm. I just opened a whole new side to you guys (well, ok, not really since many of you already know that I am not afraid to admit I fart...alot. Must be all those protein powder).
Ok, so people, I want to hear your best funny fart stories/strategies in my comments!!! READY...SET...FART-Oops, I mean POST!
posted by Dan&Roz @ 11:46 PM
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